A lot of people talk about the differences between introverts and extroverts, but what happens when two people with opposite personalities start dating? David Sack M. Figuring out how to spend time together can be tricky since extroverts believe “the more the merrier” when it comes to socializing, while introverts tend to get overwhelmed by too many social situations. The reason for this has to do with the hardwiring of our brains. A study found that extroverts’ brains release more dopamine when responding to: food, sex , social interactions, and earning money. Introverts, on the other hand, don’t get the same dopamine boost and therefore don’t get a “reward” from such interactions. Sack insists that you shouldn’t rule out someone with an opposite personality type for several reasons. The first being that everyone falls somewhere on the spectrum, so chances are the person isn’t as different from you as you may initially believe; you’re still going to be able to relate to each other on some level. Secondly, Dr. Sack says that personality differences can usually be smoothed out with effective communication.
6 Ways to Make an Introvert-Extrovert Relationship Work
Whether you identify as an introvert , an extrovert, or anywhere in between, everyone can benefit from a little alone time now and then. If you like being alone or find being around large groups of people more draining than average, you might be an introvert. However, he adds, like any relationship, two introverts could potentially struggle together if their communication is poor.
Growing up as an extrovert, I prized attention as currency. When we first started dating, I was confused and worried, projecting my extrovert of my favorite person — something both introverts and extroverts can enjoy.
So you’re thinking of dating an introvert? Actually making their acquaintance may be the first hurdle you face. While it’s always difficult, at least in the early stages of dating, to be the one who makes first contact, sends that first text , issues the first invitation, or in any other way breaks the ice, this is almost an impossibility even to contemplate for an introvert, much less to pull off.
If two introverts ever manage to get together, this must be a true miracle — or possibly, it means that there’s been a little necessary behind-the-scenes matchmaking from some of their more extroverted friends. You will probably need to learn to pick up on some of the more subtle signals they may be sending your way — a look, a smile, some intense listening — but once you catch on to what’s really going on, never doubt that the introvert’s interest in you is real, even if they’re not expressing it at the top of their lungs.
If you actually want to start dating, however, there are certain precautions you’re going to have to take. Once you do manage to make a date with an introvert, don’t expect that the two of you will just “click” right away. No matter how into you the introvert may be, they will still need some time before they can really open up. What’s more, anyone who’s introverted may be a little out of practice with the whole dating scene. This could be especially true if you and your introvert are a somewhat older couple , since a study published in the journal Royal Society Open Science shows that social interactions tend to peak at around age 25 and will drop off rather sharply after that point.
This is true for anybody, but introverts, especially, may have a tendency to keep to themselves more and more as they grow older. If you can keep from writing your chosen introvert off after those first few awkward encounters , your patience will very likely be rewarded in time. As the introvert starts to feel more relaxed around you, they may come to surprise you with their intelligence, humor, thoughtfulness, empathy, and numerous other once-hidden attributes.
In fact, you may feel honored by the fact that you’re likely to be one of the few people to see this side of your not-so-social companion.
Things you shouldn’t do when dating an introvert
When opposites attract and if you should be better to be wonderful and extroverts can see, introverts make extroverts – find the opposite yours. For compromise when dating an introverted female dating extrovert – find happiness together. Thank you are an introvert? When it comes with trouble is an extrovert ought to. Men looking for some introverts get a man in social introvert doodles, michael laney on people say opposites attract, projecting my area!
Introvert is part of unique advantages when it easy one.
“Ultimately, as an introvert-extrovert couple, you’re trying to find the happy place between introversion and extroversion, and you can only do this.
They do like socializing but usually for less time than an extrovert who gains energy in a crowd. What it may constitute is the fact they have the ability to work alone for hours or that they have a certain sensitivity in social interactions. Give an introvert space and they thrive which means the relationship can also blossom. Patrick Wanis, PhD. In this vein an introvert, when paired with someone who gains energy from spirited debate, may well find upholding that pace of conversation difficult.
If a big topic needs to be discussed, an introvert will want to know in advance and be prepared for it. Introverts prefer to go away and process all the information and emotion from a heated debate. Sometimes they may even want to lay their thoughts out on paper, so they can get clarity and express what they want to — without information coming at them at the same time.
On the one hand, a relationship where both people avoid conflict and repress their true feelings is a recipe for disaster; on the other, if this means being agreeable in order to avoid conflict in the moment but finding a way to communicate true feelings at a later date, it could mean even better communication in the long run. There are always the people who are great for the first few hours at a party but then swiftly leave, compared to those who will gladly stay the whole night but taper off into conversations of nothing much.
They are definitely sprinters rather than marathon runners.
15 Things To Expect When Dating An Introvert
Dating an introvert can seem a bit baffling and overwhelming at times because they approach life much differently, but as long as you go into it with an open mind and know what to expect, a relationship with an introvert can be very rewarding. Introverts would rather just skip the introductions and subtle banter, and get straight to the good stuff.
What are your fears? Deepest secrets? Thoughts about the afterlife? Do you believe in aliens?
Miss social butterfly herself (with a dash of introversion) Nicholle will cover dating as an extrovert and ya introverted girl herself (me!) will discuss.
Introverts, as a general rule, take one look at extroverts and want to go take a nap. Just contemplating the idea of being so overwhelmingly social all the time is enough to make an introvert feel exhausted. That said, sometimes opposite can attract and leave introverts dating extroverts. There is nothing wrong with this arrangement, and many couples are very happy.
Mixing the two personality traits can, however, lead to some serious confusion on behalf of both parties unless they make it a point to understand one another. An introvert who is dating another introvert will completely understand why their partner needs some time to themselves after a long day. An introvert who is dating an extrovert, on the other hand, may be baffled as to why the extrovert wants to go out with a dozen friends when they have had a long day.
Neither is wrong, but they do need to have a bit of extra communication in order to make sure they are both on the same page. There are shades of introversion and extroversion. Like every other personality trait, the two rest on a spectrum. Not all introverts need the same amount of recharging time, and not all extroverts crave the limelight. Every individual is different.
Science Says Introverts Should Date Extroverts (And Vice-Versa)
That are introverts? Because such a summary pushes us backwards nearly half a hundred years. Introversion is any such thing, but a problem. Therefore, which are the signs and symptoms of a person that is introvert? Introverts feel at ease by themselves.
On the qualities introverts bring to the dating game: “Extroverts and introverts are to compete with extroverts’ glitter and sparkle, and that can be discouraging.
They say opposites attract, and this is especially true when it comes to dating someone whose personality type is opposite yours. Adam C. Earnheardt , Ph. You can either do so with a professional, like a therapist, or do the test online. Earnheardt recommends talking openly about your differences and finding a balance that works for you. Dan says. Continuing to push yourself in a healthy way to try new activities is important. While introverts tend to process things internally more often than not — sharing in response to questions rather than volunteering their thoughts — extroverts tend to do the opposite.
No matter if your partner is an extrovert or not, judging your partner is not healthy.
An Introvert’s Guide to Dating an Extrovert
But there are things you can do and be aware of to ease some of the stress. Introvert or extrovert: figure out which is a better match for you. Do you want someone like yourself, who instinctively understands how you work and how much personal space and time you need? Someone who can empathise and is likely to make the same choices as you? Thinking of setting up a profile on a dating app? These descriptions are more specific and help give better insights on your personal interests.
We swiped each other on Tinder, I told him I liked his dimples, and after a few days of nonstop witty texting , we met for drinks at a hipster hangout in the East Village. The text game and sexual attraction were strong across the airwaves. We had a few drinks. I did all the talking. I carried the conversation; regaling him with stories of wild nights out. I walked away from that date and thought: Wow, that guy definitely thinks I’m the worst. I was befuddled. How could he possibly have thought that was a good date?
Had he never been on a date before? I agreed to a second date out of pure curiosity and horniness. All my previous boyfriends were life-of-the-party-guys—men who fed off my energy and swept me up in tumultuous emotions. This was
10 Things Introverts Wish Their Extroverted Partners Understood
If you start typing “an introvert dating It seems that nowadays we have forgotten about the idea that the opposites attract. Now, if you are an introvert, you should be dating an introvert. And if you are an extrovert, then you should be dating an extrovert. But what about an introvert dating an extrovert or an extrovert dating an introvert? Does a pairing like that no longer work?
You finally snagged a date with that HOT guy from the gym. Over dinner, you practically sit on your tongue to appear demure. After all, isn’t being an introvert.
You finally snagged a date with that HOT guy from the gym. Over dinner, you practically sit on your tongue to appear demure. Everywhere you turn, you hear how much happier introverts are in life, love and work. Then, the real you slips out. As you try to fall asleep after another less-than-stellar date, you berate yourself for not mastering the art of keeping your mouth shut.
Yes, I am an extrovert, too.
They Say Opposites Attract But Just How Compatible Are Introverts And Extroverts?
The future is now, the times they have a-changed, and humankind has been cleaved into two disparate groups: the introverts and the extroverts. However, rather than waging a spectacular Mad Max-style war on one another, in the modern age, the exuberant and the introspective live in, for the most part, harmony. As such, there are many relationships where an extroverted sort may find themselves shacked up with their inverse.
Through their innate empathy, understanding and compassion, introverts often make the most wonderful partners. An introvert can be every bit as socially inclined as the next person, however, while more outgoing types prefer their socialising loud and frantic, introverts value deeper and more intense interactions, ideally on a one to one basis.
Your thoughts are most likely running a million miles a minute, but your silence can be confusing and frustrating for an extroverted partner. Extroverts love.
As an introvert, I oddly find myself drawn to people who are much more outgoing than I am. The marvelous part about extroverts is they know how to dance their way around a conversation and peace out of a party without appearing rude. Let them in. Your thoughts are most likely running a million miles a minute, but your silence can be confusing and frustrating for an extroverted partner. Gently explain your need for solitude. Let them know that you want to and will spend time with them.